


Bonds and chains

by pasu_pare



Category: BanG Dream! (Anime), BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-28
Updated: 2019-09-02
Packaged: 2020-07-25 03:23:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20019094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pasu_pare/pseuds/pasu_pare
Summary: Yukina has trouble understanding the underlying cause for her emotions, and pushes Lisa away as a result. More like Yukina is vaguely aware but tries to mask it? At this point they both have feelings for each other and need to come clean about it. In a sense, Yukina has to struggle with her feelings for Lisa and the jealousy it arises.Sayotsugu is very minor but I love them and had to.(This came about after I watched lostorage and was inspired by Suzuko and Chinatsu, also two childhood friends.)





	1. Chapter 1

The soft rays of moonlight entered the room, slowly but surely crawling along the walls. Lisa watched as the gentle rays mixed with the orange hue of the streetlamps. Rolling on her back, she focused her gaze on the ceiling, her mind drifting and processing the events of the last few days. Just three days ago she had gone to get ice cream with Yukina, watching as her expression softened when she laughed. They sat by a bench overlooking the river and Yukina had teased her about skipping the queue for the ice cream. Her heart had sped up, her face burning as she had reached for Yukina's hand to lace their fingers together - a bold move which was more of a gamble. Yukina had turned her face, the corners of her lips showing signs of a hidden smile- but she did not remove her hands from Lisa's. She felt as though her heart would explode, that they were moving in a direction there was no going back from, but it felt good. It felt right. 

However, her fantasy was short lived. The day after, Yukina seemed to avoid her. Maybe she was busy, which was alright. But yesterday, again Yukina avoided her. She had spoken at least three words to her during the whole of Roselia's band practice. Lisa had tried to get her attention, to talk to her, but she refused.

Remembering the events that transpired made Lisa's heart cramp. She wondered if maybe she had done something wrong, if she had moved too fast in any way in her attempt to connect with Yukina on a level more than friendship. She had only wanted to be there with Yukina, to help her achieve her dreams. She was content to play the supporting role if it meant Yukina's happiness, content to stay as the supportive childhood friend. But she yearned for more. 

Sighing, she picked up her phone and browsed her recent text conversation with Yukina. Recent being two days ago. Since then she had sent multiple messages, all of which had not been read. She began to type out a message then deleted it. Repeated this action multiple times, then put her phone down.

She rolled over on her side and did nothing but lay there and wait for morning.

Lisa felt at a loss for what to do. She had work today, which meant she had to skip out on band practice with Roselia and would be unable to talk to Yukina. She wanted desperately to talk to her, to ask her why if felt as though the distance between them had grown rapidly over the last couple of days and why she felt so out of reach. 

‘Imai-san?’ Sayo’s voice brought her back to reality, and she turned to face her friend.

Realising she had let her mind wander and got distracted from the conversation, she apologised and asked what she had missed. Sayo tilted her head to the side and frowned just slightly.

‘Is everything alright?’

Her friends concern touched her and she smiled softly.

‘I’m alright, thank you. I was just thinking about a cute outfit I saw in the magazine.’ Lying to her friend was an uncomfortable feeling, but she didn’t want to drag Roselia into her problems if she could help it.

‘Is that so? I suppose you’ll have to show me sometime.’ Sayo smiled, and Lisa took comfort from that.

‘Definitely! I’m sorry I have to skip out on practice today.’ '

‘Don’t worry about it. I know you’re working hard and also practicing in your own time.’ Sayo’s soft words eased a little bit of the worry in Lisa’s heart, but they weren’t enough to make her forget. She fixed her hair and got ready to leave, picking her bag up and swinging it over her shoulders.

‘I have to get to work, thank you for meeting me’ Lisa smiled, and Sayo nodded in reply, averting her gaze to Tsugumi who was approaching. Lisa waved a goodbye at the two girls and left the Hanazawa cafe with a deep sigh.

The smell of takoyaki swept past her, and Lisa turned to see a small stall with an old man flipping the octopus balls. ‘Hey Yukina, do you want to-'

Realising she was walking alone, Lisa averted her eyes to the ground and continued walking. The familiar path from the Hanazawa cafe to the convenience store she worked at was one she walked through a lot with Yukina. She couldn’t help her thoughts wander to the various memories of their time together. She slowly took out her phone, wondering what Yukina was doing right now. Opening her text conversation, she saw her last message had been read. She had asked Yukina if she wanted to go to a cat cafe together, in which she received no response.

From far away, she saw a familiar figure rounding the corner, silver hair glistening in the afternoon sunlight.

‘Yukina?’ she whispered, mostly to herself. The way the figure walked was one she knew all too well.

She began to walk faster and gradually started to run. ‘Yukina!’ She called out in a desperate attempt to catch up. To see her.

‘Yukina wait!’ She ran faster, the beating of her heart almost matching the pace of her legs. She reached out to the other girl, just as Yukina’s familiar face turned to her. Lisa stopped, resting her hands on her knees, gasping for breath.

‘Lisa?’ Yukina’s face was confused, but gave away no indication of how she felt upon seeing her childhood friend puffed out and sweating from chasing her. ‘Yukina...hey. How are you? I feel like we haven’t spoken in a while’ Lisa managed between gasped breaths.

‘Lisa, don’t you have work?’

‘I do, but can we talk?’

Yukina seemed to pause for a minute, but that minute felt like a lifetime for Lisa.

‘I’m sorry, I’m busy.’ And with that, Yukina turned to leave. ‘Wait! Yukina, are you avoiding me? Did I do something?’ Lisa pleaded, which stopped Yukina in her tracks. Without facing her, Yukina said something that Lisa could barely hear. ‘Sorry, I didn’t hear you could you say that again?’ Turning, Yukina furrowed her brows. ‘I said I’m busy. I’ll see you in school tomorrow.’ Lisa searched for any sign, any trace of what Yukina felt. While she was good at understanding Yukina and had learnt how to read her emotions, this time she drew a blank. She felt an aching in her chest, mixed with confusion with the distance that seemed to stretch out between them. She watched as the other girl walked away, her silhouette moving further and further away, out of reach.

*****

Yukina walked faster, trying to increase the distance between her and Lisa as fast as she could. The look of confusion and the hint of sadness on Lisa’s face was enough to make her heart ache. She had almost said it loud enough for Lisa to hear, had almost let the words escape her lips.

She willed herself to walk even faster, as if trying to run away from what she felt. Keeping her distance from Lisa was hard. Possibly one of the hardest things shes had to do.

Yukina recalled the last time they had spent time together. A few days ago they had got ice cream, the blistering sun melting the cream off the cone, causing it to drip.

‘This is really good! I knew this was worth queuing up for!’ Yukina had watched as Lisa enjoyed herself; she made eating ice cream look like it was the most delicious thing she had ever tasted.

‘But Lisa, you didn’t queue up for it. You saw Moca was working on the ice cream stand and skipped the whole line.’ Lisa pouted slightly, directing her gaze at Yukina, who felt as though she was captivated in this moment, within Lisa’s brown eyes shining in the sun.

‘You weren’t complaining about it when it meant you got your ice cream sooner.’ Yukina smiled softly and they both laughed, Lisa’s soft laughed vibrating throughout Yukina’s whole body. She had fun. In fact she could only let loose and have fun around the other girl.

And that was the problem. The thought of being more reliant on Lisa than she already was, only allowing herself to relax around Lisa... and the thought of Lisa was one she could not take. She had always been with Lisa, always followed her lead during their childhood, but now she was different. They had grown apart once, when they focused on different things, but this time it was different. This time Yukina’s feelings for Lisa had grown into something more than friendship. It had grown into the kind of feeling she had never considered herself to acknowledge before. The kind that makes her heart yearn to be beside her, to hold her, to hear her soft comforting laughter and to allow herself to fall into the endless pit of Lisa’s brown eyes, surrounded by her warmth.

Yukina shook her head. She resisted the overwhelming desire to turn back, to run to where Lisa was watching after her. She was focused on what she wanted to achieve, and she would not let her feelings stand between her goal. It was possible that the feelings she had come to realise she felt for Lisa would not be reciprocated, but the reason for her distance was to focus on Roselia and their music.

At least that’s what she told herself.


	2. Chapter 2

Lisa fidgeted, shifting her weight from foot to foot as she leaned back against the wall. The overwhelming sense of dread mixed with the chaos she felt inside was enough to make her turn tail and run, but she was going to stand her ground. She waited outside the classroom, unintentionally greeting everyone a good afternoon as they left to go home or to their respective clubs.

Waiting for Yukina was something she was all too familiar with, it became second nature. But this was different. In a sense, this was a test of her resolve. She peeked through the open door to see Yukina fixing her bag. It was as though Yukina was aware of her presence and deliberately took her time, just to torture her. Letting out an exasperated sigh, she leaned back against the wall, again shifting her weight from foot to foot. Shaking her head, Lisa turned to face the classroom, willing herself to go inside just as Yukina came out.

‘Lisa?’ Yukinas voice tugged at her heartstrings, threatening to dismantle her resolve. ‘Were you waiting? Sorry but I have to go.’

Yukina tried to side step past Lisa, but the other girl blocked her path.

‘Yukina please, can we talk?’

A look of annoyance flickered past Yukina’s eyes, before they turned stern.

Swallowing, Lisa continued, ‘Yukina we haven’t properly talked in over a week! You haven’t replied to my mails, you ignore me and you always seem so busy. Please just let me know if I did something wrong, I- ‘ Lisa voice was shaking. In fact, she felt the lump in her throat getting larger, threatening to suffocate her.

‘Meet me on the rooftop in ten minutes. We can speak in private there.’ Yukina interrupted, neither her voice nor her face giving anything away. Lisa searched for any sign, anything at all, but drew a blank. Though the turmoil within her grew, she was grateful for the chance to talk.

‘Okay, thank you!’

But Yukina had already started to walk away.

Lisa made her way to the entrance of the school rooftop, her hand hovering on the door handle. Her fingers trembled slightly as she turned the knob and pulled the door open.

The sun had just began to set, its orange rays peeking out from behind the clouds. She looked around, and found the familiar shape of Yukina’s back, her arms folded and the gentle breeze sweeping past her hair. Steeling herself, Lisa walked up to her.

‘You did nothing wrong Lisa. We should make our way to band practice soon, so let’s keep this short.’ Yukina turned to face her.

‘Thank you...for talking to me. I don’t understand the distance between us lately. I don’t understand if I’ve done something wrong, or if I overstepped your boundaries,’ Lisa’s voice trembled, and before she knew it the words rushed out of her mouth, unable to stop herself she continued, ‘I just wanted to be closer to you, I want to fix this.’

‘There's nothing to fix. Moving forward, I would like to keep our relationship strictly professional.’ Yukina’s own voice was in turn devoid of emotion.

‘But Yukina, aren’t we friends? Haven’t we been friends since we were children? I don’t understand your indifference towards me now!’

‘You are my friend, and you’re precious to me. And that is exactly why I must give it up. I cannot let my personal feelings hinder the performance of Roselia and get in the way of what I will achieve.’ Yukina’s voice lacked it's usual comforting warmth that Lisa longed for, as though she had steeled herself and rehearsed what she had just said.

‘Yukina...’

‘Lisa, I enjoyed the time we spent together. Perhaps I enjoyed it too much. That is precisely why I will not allow my personal feelings to get in my way. I’m going to set myself free from whatever holds me back. Let’s stop wasting time and make our way to practice.’ Lisa waited with bated breath, but Yukina had said her piece and began walking away.

‘Yukina...let me help you achieve your dreams. Let me stand by your side,’ Lisa’s voice trailed off. Her resolve wavering, unable to form the words she wanted to say, to allow her feelings to reach the other girl. Instead, Lisa tried to reach out to her, but Yukina walked past and was soon out of reach.

*****

Yukina exhaled shakily, she had tried to keep her voice steady but now she felt her resolve drain away and was somewhat lightheaded. She had said what she wanted to, and there was nothing more. Now, she would devote her time to improving herself and improving Roselia. There was no turning back. She was fine with this. She had to be fine with this.

However, she felt a storm of emotions within. Lisa was like the light that illuminated her path, but the light can be blinding. She had relied on Lisa for too long. This was the part of her she had trouble controlling, the part of her that seemed to wrap around her, slowly suffocating her. 

As she walked towards the studio, memories flooded her mind unwillingly. She shook her head, but was unable to disperse them.

She recalled Lisa, who was always there for her, who had always been so cheerful, who had asked to be her friend when Yukina herself was too shy to talk to people. Lisa who would help her up if she fell down and kiss away the pain on her grazed knee and Lisa who would listen to her talk about her fathers music and the same Lisa who would hold her hand and sing with her. She remembered the time in fourth grade, in the park after the rain as Lisa ran through the puddles, spreading droplets of light wherever she went. Yukina watched her as she turned and smiled, waving her hands in the air, beckoning Yukina to join her. 

She recalled how they grew distant as they got older, how she focused on her music while Lisa’s interests were focused on other things.

Clenching her jaw, Yukina frowned as she recalled spending less and less time with Lisa, until they eventually stopped talking.

And now? Now her feelings for Lisa had grown more than she ever expected. Now she relied on Lisa more than ever. Now adored the sound of Lisa’s laughter and the smell of her cookies. She watched as Lisa had knitted her a scarf, and thought it was the most endearing thing she had ever seen. What a strange twist of fate. She had realised it when Lisa had held her hand so gently.

But if she allowed her feelings to develop any further, and if Lisa were to leave her, if they were to grow apart like they did before...then she would rather Lisa were never there.

Before she knew it, her cheeks were damp. She furiously wiped at her face, and lifted her head up high as she walked into the studio.

‘Minato-san? Did you not come here together with Imai-san?’ Sayo asked, looking up from her guitar.

‘No, let’s wait for her before we begin.’ Yukina wondered if Lisa would show up. She hoped she would, if only to see that she was okay. She wondered if maybe she were too harsh on her.

‘I see. In that case, let’s get ready.’ Sayo turned back to tuning her guitar.

Yukina greeted Ako and Rinko, and was about to proceed with a sound check when she heard the door open and a familiar cheery voice greet them.

‘Good afternoon everyone ~ ahaha it seems I’m the last one, sorry about that.’ Lisa beamed at everyone as she dropped her bag and took out her equipment. She complimented Ako on her outfit, and the two began a casual conversation.

Yukina watched from the corner of her eye; Lisa seemed okay and for that, she was glad. But the longer she watched, she noticed Lisa’s eyes seemed red and puffy. Swallowing the lump in her throat that threatened to grow, Yukina turned away and announced the beginning of the session.

*****

‘Ahhh I’m beat! Great work everyone, I think that sounded amazing.’ Lisa lifted her arms over her head and stretched.

‘Yes, I agree it sounded good but we need to keep practicing for our live next week. We can’t allow ourselves to fall short now.’ Sayo smiled, and carefully took her phone out of her bag.

‘About that! Why don’t we go for a training camp? Golden week starts this week right?’ Ako suggested.

‘Training camp? But where would we go?’

‘Oooh Ako! Nice idea ~ that sounds fun!’

‘A training camp does indeed sound like a good idea but Shirokane-san is right. Where would we go? We can’t decide hastily.’

‘We let the god of darkness decide!!’

‘Yukina any ideas?’ Lisa’s soft voice distracted Yukina from her thoughts.

‘A training camp? Why would we need to waste time with travel plans when we can practice here.’

Ako jumped up from behind her drums, ‘Because the god of darkness whispered to me in a dream! And because onee-chan is going on a training camp with Afterglow! So why don’t we go somewhere too?’ Yukina pondered. It seemed like a waste of time and effort, especially since they could use that time to practice here.

‘I-I think Ako’s idea is good. A training camp would be really fun,’ Rinko spoke up, looking around at her fellow bandmates. Lisa nodded in agreement while Sayo tilted her head.

‘Minato-san has a point. We would be wasting time travelling which could be used to practice,’ Yukina nodded, the thought of spending a few days seeing Lisa every day would surely be difficult and she was glad Sayo agreed with her. However, Sayo continued ‘but it would be a good opportunity for the band to grow, and we could make a strict training schedule to adhere to. I could ask Tsugumi for any advice on where to go.’ Taken aback, Yukina reflexively turned to Lisa for backup but Lisa’s eyes were shining as she nodded furiously. 'Tsugumi? Sayo, are you on first name basis already??'

Sayo reeled back so fast she almost tripped over the wires scattered across the floor, her face quickly turning a bright red.

'I-I meant Hazawa-san,' she tried to cough, covering her mouth with her hand and turning away.

‘Ahaha, so you ARE on first name basis already! Sayo yes! Nice idea, we can have a girls night and talk about your new found love. Then it’s settled, lets make plans for a training camp! I vote for a beach~’

'I-Imai san! We are not going for fun!’ Sayo tried to counter, shaking her head and her hands and dropping her phone in the process.

Lisa bent to pick it up, the corner of her lips turning into a smirk as she handed Sayo the phone back. ‘So you were messaging Tsugumi just before huh? You really aren't helping your case Sayo.’ Lisa giggled.

‘Sayo has a girlfriend??’ Ako chimed in, stepping out from behind her drums and moving closer towards Lisa and Sayo.

Sayo hurriedly grabbed her phone back and proceeded to argue her case, but no one could really take her seriously given that her face was still bright red.

Yukina let them decide upon themselves, reluctantly agreeing. Spending a few days with Lisa was truly, truly going to be difficult. She hoped Sayo would have enough stories on her 'new found love' to keep Lisa occupied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oats curry for getting this far.
> 
> I'm sorry for the pacing, I feel like it was repetitive and something was missing. If I ever figure it out, I'll edit it in. 
> 
> While I was editing this I got naruto/sasuke flashbacks which was NOT what I intended at all, I'm so sorry.


	3. Chapter 3

Yukina's ears rang from the noise throughout the entire bus trip to their accommodation. Lisa and Ako had teased Sayo relentlessly about her developing relationship with Afterglows keyboardist as Rinko had tried to get them to stop. 

Yukina herself spent her time looking out the window, but she would be lying if she said she wasn’t at least a bit curious on Sayo’s ‘new found love’. She thought it was nice to see Sayo so interested in something (or someone) other than her guitar, and wondered if she herself had made the wrong choice from not pursuing her feelings with Lisa. 

_No, I am okay with this. I have to be._

Sighing, she walked up the stairs to their shared apartment and was greeted the owner who stood by the entrance, beaming. 

"Welcome! Any friend of Tsugumi’s is a friend of mine. Please make yourselves at home."

They were ushered inside and Yukina overheard Lisa nudging Sayo, whispering about how "your girlfriend really pulled through for us," as Sayo stormed away from them, marching straight ahead. 

"Tsugu- Hazawa-san is NOT my girlfriend." Sayo called behind her as she closed the door to her room.

"Yet! Not your girlfriend yet! You won’t even call your bandmates by their first name Sayo! You traitor!" Lisa called after her. She must have noticed or even felt Yukina staring because she turned and flashed Yukina the biggest smile. 

A smile which seemed to render everything else irrelevant. 

Lisa followed her into her room, much to Yukina’s surprise.

"Lets share a room like we always do?~" 

While Yukina was glad Lisa seemed her cheery self, she suspected the brunette was plotting something. It was as though the talk they had on the rooftop never happened. She knew Lisa wasn’t one to back down easily, but she thought she had made herself clear. 

"No Lisa, go to your own room." She tried to keep her voice stern, and mentality nodded when it followed suit.

"Ehhh Yukina. Don’t be so cold~" Lisa had set down her back and began unbuttoning her shirt, to which Yukina’s blood pressure responded by rising extremely high. Turning away, she let out an exasperated "Lisa what are you doing??" 

"Going swimming, obviously! We’ll be spending so much time practicing, lets have fun while we can!" Yukina peeked through the corner of her eyes and sure enough, Lisa’s undone shirt revealed a bikini underneath. Lightheaded, Yukina staggered towards the door. 

"Yukina, do you want me," Yukina froze, her throat drying up, her heart racing and what felt like sweat began to trickle down her forehead towards her cheeks, "-to open the door for you? Are you alright?" Yukina exhaled shakily .

_ Of course._

Of course it was to open the door, or something trivial like that. 

Without a word, Yukina willed her feet to take her out the door and to a secluded area where she could be alone with her thoughts.

*****

Lisa decided to change her tactics. If merely talking to Yukina wasn’t going to make her understand her feelings, she would change her approach. She had a feeling Yukina was being irrationally stubborn and while she respected Yukina’s wishes, she was not about to let their years of friendship go. If even the closest they became was friends like they were before, she would do whatever was necessary to stay by her side. She was not about to let the one person she loves more than anything slip through her fingers. 

Lisa wandered around the accommodation. It was quite a big apartment, with a garage which had been turned into a mini studio. They each had their own rooms within close proximity to each other. She walked outside and down the path leading to the beach. Noticing Ako and Rinko, she hurried over to where they were. Rinko was sitting on a towel carefully laid out on the sand, an umbrella providing what little shade it could offer.

She hoped Yukina would join them, and her wishes were granted moments later as Yukina appeared and sat next to Rinko.

Lisa noticed Yukina’s quick stolen glances in her direction, and purposely made sure the other girl had a good angle to see her, slightly enjoying Yukina’s flustered expression. The growing boundary between them was still present, still felt like a weight upon her shoulders, and still gnawed on the back of her mind. But she too had a goal, and she would strive for it.

Making her way to the water, she beckoned Yukina over, who lowered her gaze and focused on the book she held in her hands. She would be lying if she said she disliked Yukina’s eyes on her.

Frowning, Lisa directed her gaze at Sayo instead, who seemed perceptive enough to understand and slowly turned to walk in the opposite direction, back towards the apartment.

“Are you going back to give Tsugumi a call?” Lisa yelled over.

Sayo turned, folding her arms “Imai-san. When will you stop this mindless teasing?”

“Ahaha, sorry sorry ~ but Yukina’s not giving me any attention and I’m so bored,” Lisa glanced towards Yukina, who looked at Sayo, who was also looking at Yukina.

Yukina looked at Ako, then at Rinko, then back towards Lisa. All eyes were on her. Closing her book, Yukina stood up and left.

“Minato-san...?” Sayo’s voice trailed off, and she turned towards Lisa with a knowing look.

_Crap. Maybe I overdid it and annoyed Yukina off even more. _

*****

Yukina took a detour, finding a quiet spot to clear her mind. She had to get away from that situation. She couldn’t stop stealing glances in Lisa’s general direction. She admitted to herself that Lisa looked _really_ good in her bikini. Yukina felt her body temperature rise the entire time, but had put this down to the heat and the sun. The way Lisa moved and the way the water glistened and shimmered down her body, Yukina could do nothing but gulped. She sat on a rock under the shade of a tree, and covered her face in her hands. 

Soft footsteps approached and Yukina turned to see Sayo moving towards her.

“Are you on bad term with Imai-san?” Sayo was indeed perceptive.

Was she too obvious?

“Not exactly.”

“Minato-san, if I may. There seems to be a distance between you and Imai-san lately. It would be better for you to sort it out before the distance affects the band.” Yukina sighed. She was aware. She was all too aware of how the distance she kept between her and Lisa was affecting her, left alone affecting the band. After all, she and Lisa were in the same band and she knew she had to sort out this nonsense, and soon.

“Sayo, tell me about you and Tsugumi.” Taken aback, Sayo was silent for a moment, before clearing her throat.

“To me, Tsugumi shines brightly. I enjoy her company and the warmth I feel when I’m around her. Is the same true for you with Imai-san?”

It felt strange, talking with Sayo about personal matters was an unfamiliar feeling. Does she enjoy Lisa’s company and the warmth she felt around her? Yes. Little else could compare to the feeling of comfort and warmth she felt with Lisa.

Yukina nodded ever so slightly, which Sayo picked up on. “I

do not think emotions makes a person weak. On the contrary, it could strengthen you. Being able to trust and rely on someone is strength, and is something I have recently learnt.” Yukina turned to find Sayo smiling at her, as she moved to leave. It was okay to rely on Lisa.

She gets that. She knows that. She’s been doing that. But there was something else, something tugging at her heart. Perhaps it was something she needed to hear, but nevertheless the warm sensation of Sayo's kind words stayed with her throughout the rest of the day.

*****

Lisa searched all over for Yukina. This was her chance to spend time with her. Today felt a lot like the day before, and if she didn’t do anything, tomorrow would be the same. She feared that if she allowed their distance to grow, they would never be quite the same again.

She stepped outside, the sea breeze tickling her skin. She thought back to the days she spent with Yukina in bliss, wanting to feel the emotions of the time they shared. She knew Yukina, and knew Yukina was probably trying to act strong. Although confused, it was simply hard to believe the closest person to her would want her gone. There was a reason for it. If Yukina really wanted her gone, she would ask her. Maybe she was chasing cracked memories. Maybe her efforts were futile, but she knew somewhere or somehow, Yukina cherished her and that she was probably hurting more than her.

Whatever Yukina wanted, she would endure it.

But first she had to make sure this was what Yukina wanted deep down. She didn’t want to lose her best friend, that one fact was more certain than her own heartbeat. She wasn’t about to let the happiness she had found with Yukina and Roselia slip through her fingers. She raced outside to find her.

Yukina made her way outside, hoping that some fresh air and a short walk would help her clear her mind. She walked along the beach, occasionally stopping to take in the movement and sound of the tide. She hoped her feelings too would float away at the mercy of the waves, drifting aimlessly.

The small bud in her heart had begun to bloom, and she desperately tried to still it.

She brought her arms up and held herself. The soft arms of Lisa, the arms that held her saying ‘I’ll never leave you alone again’ were nowhere to be found. Perhaps she was being selfish and not considering Lisa’s feelings to protect herself. Maybe she was hiding from reality. Perhaps she should face her feelings.

She knew that, she knew she was taking the easy way out which was unlike her.

But she also knew the feelings she developed were unfamiliar to her. Maybe she always felt them but recently acknowledged them. If she continued with her decision, she wouldn’t be able to act on her feelings. Even if she missed Lisa, she wouldn’t be able to tell her. Even if she wanted to hold her, she wouldn’t be able to reach out and touch her.

_Am i okay with that? _

_Am i okay living with desire and regret? _

No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't unlearn the warmth of Lisas touch. She yearned for it. The more she thought about it, the more her chest felt heavy.

Lost in thought, Yukina was unaware of the light footsteps making their way to her.

"Yukina," a soft and comforting voice called out to her. She turned to see gentle smile of Lisa and her heart ached. The other girl slowly closed the distance between them.

She longed to reach out and touch her, to melt in her arms and drown in their comfort.

"Yukina, I don't want to lose you. I don't want to be without you, to give up the time we have and our memories." The pained look on Lisa’s face made her voice quiver, her facade crumble. She was slightly surprised that Lisa had gone straight to the point, but perhaps this was better.

"Lisa, I’m sorry." Her voice threatened to betray her.

"Ever since we were little, you never ran away from anything. You always faced everything head on. Don't run away now, don't run away from me," Lisa continued.

Tears stung her eyes as she turned away in a desperate attempt to hide her face.

"I don’t know what else to do. If I accept these feelings and we inevitably drift apart, then I would rather you were never there."

Lisa reached out to her, holding her hand and pulling her closer as though she was afraid Yukina would run away.

"Yukina I’d never leave you!" Her voice hoarse and pleading, but unyielding.

Yukina tried to pull her hand away but Lisa held on tighter. She turned to face her, the tears she held back stinging her eyes. The look on Lisa’s face seemed to render everything silent. Her mouth felt dry, as though she was choking broken glass.

It was now or never.

She was unable to run away, not with Lisa holding her in place.

"What if you grow impatient with me? I dislike the part of me that needs you, the part of me that longs for you. What if you’re not there, where does that leave me?"

Lisa shone as brightly as the sun, blinding and illuminating her path. She wanted the light. She wanted it to shine on her, wanted it all for herself.

And she hated it.

She hated herself for feeling those emotions. She wanted to solely focus on her music and her progress, but her heart yearned for the other girl.

"Yukina," Lisa started, but Yukina shook her head.

The words she had always been unable to say came tumbling out of her without her consent. She tried to stifle her feelings, tried not to let them out so freely but they betrayed her.

"I'm scared Lisa. I'm scared you’ll lose patience with me if it takes a long time for me to work through my emotions. Ever since we were little, I have been the one who was reliant on you, even now...you don’t realise the effect you have on me, how much I need you."

She paused slightly before continuing,

B'ut the way I feel about you has changed. And I don’t want to be the type of person that wants all your attention to herself. Maybe I’m running away, but its too late for me to change how I feel about you! You’ll never belong to me and I don't want to need you so much that if you leave...I wouldn’t know what to do." She was rambling, she knew she was rambling and the fragility of losing faith in Lisa always being there made her hands shake.

All the tears she shed up until now, all the feelings she was unable to form into words, she entrusted them to Lisa. She was treading on unknown waters but felt a slight weight off her shoulders.

Sinking into silence, she allowed herself to look up and meet Lisa’s eyes as her heartbeat soundlessly rang into the night.

She watched as Lisa bit her lower lip. The silence stretched out for what seemed like an eternity, until Lisa frowned as she exhaled.

"Stop making decisions by yourself! Consider my feelings Yukina. I know you can be dense at times so I’ll say it clearly, I love you."

With those words, the last remaining wall around her heart shattered and ignited a flame within her. Lisa’s words seeped into her trembling heart, flowing along her veins as though it were washing away her troubles. She hadn’t realised the weight of that single word, ‘love’.

Lisa held her hand tighter, "Yukina I joined Roselia because I wanted to support you and to stand next to you. I quit bass before and...I left you because I couldn’t keep up with you. But I’m not running away anymore. Now I’m doing everything I can to keep up with you so I can always be by your side. I love you." Lisa was so bright, so radiant that Yukina instinctively turned her eyes away but Lisa brought a hand up to her cheek.

Before she realised it, her cheeks were damp. Lisa pressed her forehead upon Yukina’s own.

"I won’t leave you."

The storm within her seemed to calm, like the quiet bottom of the sea. She clutched at Lisa’s shirt tighter, her voice shaking.

"Lisa..." Lisa pulled her into a hug and she sank into the comfort of the arms she longed for the most.

"There there, everything will be alright." Lisa’s soothing tone made her smile. Perhaps her attempts to distance herself from the person she loved the most was truly foolish.

*****

Sayo stood by the entrance with her arms crossed, as if expecting their return. "Imai-san, Minato-san, I hope you sorted everything out. We should aim to wake up early tomorrow to make the most out of the day." Her eyes darted between Yukina and Lisa as though she was unsure of what else to say. Yukina was sure however, that Sayo had most likely been worried about them.

"Sayo! You waited for us? How sweet," Lisa cooed, and Sayo shook her head.

"I’m glad to see you in better spirits."

"Well, you know how it is. Now that Yukina and I are girlfriends why don't we do a double date with you and Tsugumi?" Sayo stood frozen, her cheeks turning a bright red colour which was matched by Yukina’s own.

She entangled her arms from Lisa and brought her hand up to her cheeks, coughing slightly.

"We’re what now?" She somehow managed, though her throat felt tight.

"Ahahaha I was kidding! Unless...? You want to?" Lisa glanced at her with a longing look. "I-I suppose that would be alright...but we should discuss this in private" Yukina trailed off as Sayo cleared her throat.

"I am truly happy for you both. But it is late and now time to retire to bed. And about the idea for a double date...I wouldn’t dislike that." She smiled as she walked away, leaving Yukina and Lisa to stare after her then at each other, suddenly hit with the realisation of what they had just done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!  
Sorry for any spelling or grammar errors.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry for any spelling or grammar errors, thanks for reading!
> 
> ALSO I accept criticism pls help me improve in any way!


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